Saturday, 22 October 2011

What A Waste of Time

Being gay is not a choice. This dogma is backed by the sensible arguement that no one would make a choice to be part of a group that has little rights and is socially prosecuted.

My stand on this is, although it is not a choice, it isn't entirely determined in the womb either. Environmental factors have a role early on, too. It's like, someone having a genetic predisposition to a certain condition but doesn't develop it because of the lack of or minimal exposure of risk factors. There's been genetic studies done whereby the gay gene has been determined and it's probably true seeing that there seems to be a link between homosexuality and a family history for homosexuality. There's been social studies that showed no one strong environmental factor that leads to the development of homosexuality but then again, I think the dogma of 'being gay is not a choice (and is pre-determined in the womb)' prohibits any unbiased study being conducted. I spoke with a lady whose husband came out gay and we concurred both our partners had been to single sex schools. And, I think it is not uncommon for individuals from single sex schools to have preference for individuals of the same gender.

Having said all of the above, the issue of whether and how it is a choice or not isn't my main problem. The issue is: despite having no choice on sexual preferences and the prosecution faced by this group, they have the choice and power as to whether they embark on a relationship with a heterosexual person. Choice and power. Choice and power. Choice and power. Homosexuals do have choice and power!

If it is repulsive for a gay man to be with a woman, as it is for a straight man to be with a man then, how does a gay man make the choice to woo and be with a woman? Now, the one left without the choice is the unsuspecting woman or partner. And, the woman becomes the one with virtually no rights (apparently because the gay man deserves his privacy) and will be socially prosecuted because she speaks about the his choice to date her, use her, despite having no choice about his sexuality. So, who is oppressed and hurt now?

Anyway, continue frantically waving the flag at me cos it look so silly from where I'm standing.
Some of you clearly don't quite understand the issue in it's entirety. Or refuse to.
There are people who have their minds set in the dogma of homosexuality not being a choice. The stereotype of the homosexual group being an oppressed one despite wider acceptance still prevails. And, for the straight partners of homosexual individuals, these mindsets are unhelpful; after being slapped by our homosexual partners, the public waves the rainbow flag in our face, ignorant that the issue is deeper than homosexuality being a choice. Also, it seems quite trendy these days to wave the rainbow flag. All very convenient for the offending spouse.

Frankly, I don't really care if someone is heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual as long as they don't bother me! Unfortunately, my ex-boyfriend decided to be that annoying gay git to abuse choice and power for his absolute benefit.

It has been quite clear to me some people are from the group who'd sympathize with the cowboys in Brokeback and overlook their wives. It has also been quite clear to me some people have not understood and  know nothing of the dynamics of my - or any homosexual-heterosexual relationship - before opening their mouths. So, as we say in my slang: shaddap!

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