Thursday, 20 October 2011

Happy Went For A Stroll

Happy left me tonight. And, I sat here crying. Annoyed with myself for crying. I haven't cried in days, maybe a week or two even.

The first said, "Yes, your friend is prettier than you". I swallowed that shit.

The second knew what the first said and told me, "That was an awful thing to tell you".

But, the second told me, "That girl. She's great. So gentle, so kind, so understanding, beautiful". And, I asked him, why he didn't date her instead. And he shrugged off my question. He adored her and never could betray her. Who was I? Someone he loved out of guilt. Who was he? A hypocrite.

In my anger and hurt, people who don't know me and the things I went through with him, continue to hurt me. These people, shoot me down when I am wounded because they disagree with me. It is like punishing the slave for beating his master who hurt the slave.

People can judge me like they judge a book. "You'll never truly know someone, even after years", a wise friend said. I certainly didn't know and no longer know him, even if I thought I did after four years.And, these people claim to be able to tell who I am in a few weeks. Excellent. Ex-cel-lent.

But it's ok. He and them may have wounded me and continue wounding me but if they haven't killed me, I will always get better, somehow, someday.

This is a song about feeling bad and feeling better:

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